I wanted to do a post on what I learnt about my body and my strength/mindset as a result of my wisdom teeth surgery. Being the first surgery I've had since being a spoonie, I was incredibly apprehensive of how I would handle the post-operative pain and the flare that undoubtedly would follow.
The first thing I'd realised is that I'd allowed "the fear of the flare" to stop me from doing so many things. Whilst I do believe when first becoming sick you need to really cut back on everything to work out how to get into what I like to call the "maintenance stage" of being chronically ill, I hadn't actually started living again when reaching said stage. I was still in the mindset that everything would cause severe exhaustion and pain and it wasn't worth it. What I have learnt however is that after awhile, in my case 3 or 4 years, I knew how to prepare for an outing (or in this case surgery) to the best of my ability, learnt how to mentally prepare for the flare after, and carry on life.
I knew surgery was going to suck, I knew what was going to happen, I had pain management down pat, I had all the things ready at home for post-op care and blanked out a few weeks in case my flare was really bad. I still feared it, the unknown. Next time I know I will be ok, because recovery wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected it to be, or had made up it would be in my head.
Another learning experience was pain management and pain relief. I went into surgery concerned that no pain relief would help considering the medication that I take on a daily basis being so strong. I had a good supply of my breakthrough medication at home, but what if it didn't touch the pain? I brought my concern up with both my oral surgeon and the anaesthetist and I am glad that I did. The anaesthetist was very encouraging to use a variety of medications (I won't be mentioning which ones within this post) and to ensure I am taking them every 4 hours. I think suffering chronic pain conditions I was used to being in pain, however she really pushed me ensuring I was as pain free as possible. Because of her encouragement, and my knowledge of pain management, I was pretty much pain free for the first 5 days of recovery. This made my healing journey easier, I believe my flare less and ability to tolerate liquids and soft foods so much better then I expected.
In the recovery bay I learnt how mentally strong I am. I think all spoonies are. I was looking around the room and all the other surgery victims (lol) were groaning in pain. I was fine. I think mentally I think of pain differently. Before being sick pain was scary. Now, every single day I experience pain and I've learnt to cope with that. Pain isn't scary, it's just my body reacting to something. I don't give pain the power that I might have before becoming chronically ill. IThe nurses complimented me on how well I was handling it and said it was because I deal with pain every day! It was a very empowering moment to be honest, I was very proud of myself and my strength.
The first few days post-op my body was super relaxed and I managed to rest and get lots of sleep. Day 5 hit and so did the flare. I knew it was going to happen which I think gave me a little advantage. Because I knew it was going to happen I ensured I didn't have any plans for a few weeks. I knew my body was healing and it needed rest, so I rested. The post-op flare wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected it to be and I know its because I rested. I already knew resting during a flare was important, but this really cemented how vital this is at reducing the length/severity of a flare.
So how will I use what I've learnt?
I'm going to do more, enjoy more experiences and have more fun. I'm going to write a new Bucket List and actually do the things on it. And don't you worry- I'll be sharing my experiences here on my blog!
I'm going to be ok with the "payback" and the flare from doing things.
I'm going to allow my body to flare and not push myself whilst flaring. For me, it really does shorten the length of the flare!
Have you learnt anything about yourself after surgery? Please comment below and let me know!
Gentle hugs,
Bridget
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