The journey of being Sick.

Hey lovelies,

I hope you are having a wonderful day! 

The Facebook Memories feature isn't my favourite thing in the world. It often reminds me of memories I'd rather forget. Maybe they've worked out I don't like it to much as lately the memories they have showed me have made me smile. 

Today I was shown the image above. It was posted three years ago today. I can't remember what made me post it on Facebook, but today looking at it I'm really reflective of my health journey over the past four years. 

I've been sick since 2012. I'll always remember 2012 as the year that almost broke me. So much happened within that 12 month time frame. I feel like that first 18 months to 2 years of being sick I was barely treading water. I lost myself and spent that time surviving, barely functioning but doing all I could to survive chronic illness. That's what you need to do in the first stage of being sick; it's all consuming and takes over life. It's a learning process about your body, and vital to learning how to cope. 

Four years on seeing this quote I can tell I've entered the next stage of being sick- my "problems" being my illnesses. My relationship with my illnesses have surely changed in the last four years. Whilst in the beginning they defined me but now they don't. Not only have I now learnt to live with them, but I've been able to create learning experiences and new opportunities that I wouldn't have had if I wasn't on this chronic illness journey. 

I have learnt to not live in the emotion of being sick. I've learnt to brush off bad days and not dwell in them. I've learnt to live with being sick just as the above quote says- the relationship has changed. I don't introduce myself as being sick, I don't introduce myself to spoonies labelling my illnesses. I am Bridget, and I just so happen to be sick. 

I feel like I can live again, differently from the non-sick me, but still living. I'm starting to go out and do things I enjoy. I'm learning to push my boundaries- knowing it will cause a flare but not being an emotional mess when the flare happens, excepting and expecting it and moving on. 

I am awakened, I am learning and ready to except opportunities again after 4 years of living in my problems. 

So I guess the Facebook Memories feature isn't all so bad after all. 

Gentle hugs,

Bridget