I've noticed a lot recently of how different some spoonies are. Whilst all spoonies have the fact that they are sick in common, sometimes that's all that bares any similarity.
I've observed a lot of negativity in the last few weeks amongst spoonie "support" groups- I KNOW you know what I'm talking about.
There seems to be a constant competition between some spoonies for the title of "Who is sickest". Apparently racking up illnesses and how many times you've been in the hospital determine how sick you are- and sadly to some- who deserves the most pity. For me, I find this completely ridiculous. I do not care how many illnesses you have, how many pills you take, or if you can get out of bed or not. You are sick. That sucks. I will NOT pity you, but I will feel for you and be your friend.
I've also noticed that being sick is sad. Many many spoonies have mental illness because they are sick. I completely understand- imagine carrying deadweight up a flight of stairs every second of the day. Imagine no rest during the night and starting again in the morning. That describes how we might feel physically but also mentally/emotionally. Because of how depressing being sick is a lot of groups tend to have a flat, negative atmosphere that in all realness is a ticking time bomb. Support groups are meant to uplift and inspire.
Many spoonie groups have problems because its hard for admin (who are also sick) to uplift, inspire and encourage their members when they aren't in a positive mindset themselves. As someone who is an admin of several spoonie groups, I've also learnt that being an admin of spoonie groups burns me out really quickly. It's like hitting a brick wall every single day when people are sharing their heartache, awful experiences, daily struggles and everything else that comes with being chronically ill.
I believe support groups are essential in our daily lives- they help us find friends who relate and understand, as well as give us somewhere to discuss how we are feeling. I just wish some could be a more positive place instead of the bitching and competition. My goal is to continue to make my groups a safe place for all spoonies.
If you're looking for a support group come join me at "Spoonie Support" on Facebook.
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