Birthdays are a little bittersweet for the chronically ill. It's a celebration of our birth but also a reminder of another year passing with the hopes and dreams for our life not always being reached due to our limitations.
Many spoonies tend to flare on their birthdays- be it the hype of the day, the excitement of the day or even the emotional trigger of what we haven't achieved in our lives that birthdays tend to remind us of.
If you're reading the this and you can't relate I am sorry. But remember you aren't alone. This is a subject we tend not to talk about but the majority of us feel.
Whilst I wish being a spoonie didn't change things- it does. It seeps into every aspect of our lives whether we want it to or not. We plan our days differently then others. We have to always think ahead. Now having been sick for a few years I've learnt what triggers flares for me and what I can and can't do without pain.
So what are my hopes and dreams for the next year of my life?
My goal for my 28th year is to try and push myself more. To let go of the fear of the "punishment" my body will give me for socializing, traveling or doing something I want too.
My deepest wish when I blow my candles out will be for something many take for granted.
I wish to be healthy.
To not have my body determine almost every daily decision or the decisions of my family and friends as a result of being unwell.
So as another birthday draws to an end and I'm reminded of the things I don't have- such as the husband and kids society expects me to have at this age or the chance to travel the world. But it also reminds me I may be a year closer to the end goal- a cure.
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