#HAWMC Day Four

Hello lovelies, 

I'm almost caught up for #HAMWC! Just a few more to do!

Here's Day Four!

Write a letter to yourself for the day you were diagnosed, knowing you all know now. 

Dear Bridget, 

Oh sweetheart.... 

I remember the day we were diagnosed. I remember feeling happy because I finally got the acknowledgment that it wasn't all in my head, that I was actually sick and I finally had an answer. I had no idea that life would change this much though and that I'd be sitting here in bed 4 years later still on this journey. Going into this I think I had my blinders on, I was so focused in being diagnosed that I didn't really think of the future. I suppose thats life though, no one wants to think about where they'd be 5 years from now in a negative way. But life has changed. Please sit down to read this part because it might be hard....

You will still be sick. In fact, it's going to get worse. You'll add new illnesses to your health story and break your foot so badly it'll impact you daily for the rest of your life. 

Your friends will leave you. People can't handle you being sick. They only want the highlight reel and not the behind the scenes. It's going to hurt and be hard but you will get through it. You'll find the Spoonie community and after all these years finally meet "your people".

Speaking of your people.... Sami's just come back into your life as you were diagnosed. I remember being in the passenger seat messaging Sami to confirm your diagnosis. Oh how she was so important in helping you in the early stages of being sick. But my love, her health journey ends, so devastatingly to you. It'll rock you to your core and change you. You'll miss her every single day. The universe will help you though, Tara will come into your life and you'll have a new best friend who supports you every day. It's a friendship that will mean the world to you. 

You end up having to stop studying your Bachelor's Degree and finishing your tutoring business. It doesn't happen all at once, that would be too hard to handle. Instead its a slow ending goodbye in which you slow realize you can't handle working or studying without being so incredibly exhausted and sore. You'll miss it. But you have to do what is best for your health.

Reading this you're probably thinking- what else is there to life then? Yes, there's no work, no studying- but you become part of such an amazing community that you work to advocate for in ways you never thought possible. 

And you know what? You are still standing sweetheart.

Through the absolute struggle the last 4 years have been, you're still here and you're working so hard at not only living the best life you can, but a life in which you are working towards awareness for other's. I'm not here to tell you how to cope with your illnesses, tips or tricks or how to survive the heartache, I'm here to tell you in the end it will all be ok. You are waking up every day with a purpose. It's different from the life you lead 4 years ago, but in some ways it's more authentic. You've learnt to stand up for yourself, to actually have hobbies instead of working 24/7, how to just "be". You've become a pretty cool grown up who may have a hard life, but makes the most of it.